choices

Choices, even small ones, have consequences that you can't control or anticipate, and sometimes you never even know the consequences of your choice. Am I making sense? I've been thinking about this for the past week or so because of a seemingly insignificant choice I made a week or so ago.

I take the train to and from work each day. Going to work in the mornings, I usually get on and sit close to the second door on the first car, and then my friend gets on a few stops later and knows where to find me so we can chat the rest of the way to work. Well, the other morning, there were a lot of people standing where I usually do by the second door, so I ended up getting on the first door of the train. No big deal, it's happened before, and I didn't think anything of it. I sat down and started to read like usual. I glanced up after a few stops, and I noticed a girl standing and looking my way. My first thought was that maybe she was trying to see what I reading or that she was reading whatever the man sitting across me had on his phone. I went back to my book, and then I heard someone say my name. I looked up again, and I realized the girl who had been staring was my friend Laura who I hadn't seen in 6-7 years. The last thing I knew of her, she had moved to Chicago. She and her husband had moved back here, and she was on her way to a conference for her work. It was fun to chat with her for a few minutes, and hopefully we can get together soon and catch up more.

I got thinking about that later that day, and I realized that had I gotten on the train at my usual spot, chances are Laura wouldn't have noticed me, and we wouldn't have reconnected. It made me wonder what other things I have missed out on by other little decisions, not to mention the big ones. I know I shouldn't dwell on things that I can't change, but I do wonder sometimes. Like what if I had gone away to college instead of staying home where it was cheaper. Or if I had taken a different job. Don't get me wrong - I wouldn't trade the people I've met and are in my life now for anything, but I still wonder. But I guess all I can do trust that I followed the path that felt right and continue to do so and I will end up where I am supposed to.

five on friday

Five of my current favorites:

1 - Sarah M. Eden books.

2 - Making recipe pages with the Project Life app. Also printing the pages at Persnickety Prints - love the quality, speed, and the fact that they offer print credits with most sales, so I can buy the credits and then order the prints when I'm ready to do so. Here's one that I made:

The cards are from the Everyday Edition of Project Life. The recipe can be found here. 

3 - My new pjs. I bought this top and these bottoms. So cute and comfy! And the color combination is quickly becoming one of my favorites. I want to make some Christmas cards with those colors with a little red added in.

4 - The Mysteries of Laura. 

5 - My Get To Work Book. So glad I bought it. I had an issue with something else I ordered and Elise took care of it right away. Gotta love great customer service! I just wish the weeks went from Sunday-Saturday instead of Monday-Sunday. I know that's the trend and a lot of people like it that way, but I've been using it since July, and I still struggle with that. On Sunday, I'm ready to move on to a new week and the plans for that week, instead of finishing up the previous week. Maybe I'm weird, but that's how it goes for me.

five on friday

Five things you may or may not know about me:

1 - I don't like anyone around when I brush my teeth.

2 - I like to play video games. A current favorite is The Simpsons Tapped Out. I also love Mario games, especially Paper Mario, and Sims games.

3 - I'm a daydreamer. I will daydream while I'm alone in my office, and then when I walk out in the hallway, I have to watch myself to make sure I'm not going to start making funny expressions because I'm still lost in a daydream.

4 - I like my desk at work to be organized and as spotless as possible. My space at home can be very disorganized and cluttered, and I'm ok with it. Until one day it will drive me completely crazy and I have to spend a few days getting everything put back where it goes.

5 - I love the Michael Kohrs brand. I only own two items in that brand, which I bought with gift cards, but I keep eyeing a few other things. If I had the money, I would own a lot more of that brand.

currently

digging: being home. i took friday off work, and it was so nice!

not digging: my hands and fingers hurting from doing too much.

drinking: ice water - always!

eating: all kinds of unhealthy things. i've been on such a candy kick lately. i need to stop it!

watching: emily owens. md. i watched it and loved it when it was on, and was bummed went it went off the air. i downloaded all the episodes from itunes, and now i'm watching it again on netflix. but it always makes me mad when i come to the end, because i want more. i've also been watching veronica mars and i love lucy.

reading: finished always will by melanie jacobson last week, and then i dove into spotlight by traci hunter abramson. i have loved everything i've read from both those authors. oh and i just realized i read lord fenton's folly by josi kilpack in between the other two. i liked that, too.

listening: to many songs the past couple days while organizing my crafty things. also to harry potter and the order of the phoenix while at work.

feeling: annoyed at a particular person and at how she is treating others.

weather: slightly cold and supposed to be rainy, but i haven't seen any since last night. i love the rain, but i've been loving the warm days. i guess fall has to come sometime.

wanting: to get more done each day, both fun and not-so-fun things.

needing: to go to the doctor because i'm so bad at keeping up with that. i get really nervous about going, even if i don't think anything is wrong.

wishing: i could turn back time to april or may. except i wouldn't want my mom to have to go through her hip surgery again. time passes way too fast.

thinking: about christmas, even though i'm really not excited or ready for it to be time to think about it.

enjoying: good books, good shows, planning a couple fun things with a good friend.

loving: my four cute 4-year-olds that i get to spend time with each sunday. they wear me out and drive me crazy sometimes, but i love them and i'm grateful to be a part of their lives for a little bit each week.

a list

1. I was listening to a podcast (Elise Gets Crafty) on Friday, and the guest was saying how it drives her crazy when bloggers write every few months, and each post says how they are going to better. And I realized that's me quite often. Oops.
2. I've been watching city.ballet. Have you heard of it? I find the world of professional ballet very interesting, and I like a lot of behind the scenes type of things so this show is right up my alley.
3. I had dinner with a friend a few weeks ago, and we got to talking about marriages, and getting married young vs. a little bit older. She got married for the first time when she was 21, and completely regrets it. Of course, the @#$@% guy cheating on her has a lot to do with it. She remarried a couple years ago, and we both have realized that there are quite a few things we have done that we couldn't have if that first marriage had worked out, and if I had gotten married right out of high school like I kind of thought I would.
4. After reading this, I want to quit my job and move to Vermont to work for Ben & Jerry's. A slide? Taking home three pints of ice cream every day? Count me in!!
5. Ok, my work does spoil us at times, too. Staff Appreciation Week was last week, and we got a catered breakfast and lunch, gift card, a mini glass globe, and a fiesta. It's always such a fun week!
6. I wrote about dangerous brownies last year. The last time I baked them was a day or two before my dad passed away, and I haven't wanted them since. It's funny how you associate food with memories, good or bad.
7. If you happen to read my other blog, you may remember this post about a little schedule I set for myself. It worked great for a while, and I actually accomplished quite a bit, (several things from this list have been crossed off!) but then life happened and I haven't really followed my plan for a while. I'm thinking I need to revamp it a bit. 
8. I think someone needs to invent something that will transfer my thoughts directly to a computer. :) I think of things I want to write about while I'm getting ready for work, or while I'm at work, working on things that don't require my full attention - not exactly times when I can stop what I'm doing and write. And then when I do have a chance to write, I don't remember what I wanted to write about. I'm old! 
9. I can totally relate to this. 
10. "Everything you want is on the other side of fear." - Jack Canfield I need to work on this. 

struggling

I've always had such a hard time dealing with change. I just want some things to stay the same. Even when the changes don't necessarily affect me directly very much, I start panicking. Like if a friend or family member gets married or has a baby or gets a new job or is moving, it makes me panic a bit. I think part of it is jealousy when it is something I wish I could have or do, which is something else I struggle with a lot, and part of it is that I fear the unknown and how things will be different, and how that particular person may not have time for me, or that our relationship won't be the same. Logically, I know that a lot of these things are good, and I should be happy for that person, but I really struggle with it at times. I don't know why. I don't want to feel panicky and jealous, and honestly, I do want people to be happy, but I still struggle with letting that feeling overcome the fear and panicky and jealous feelings, and then I feel awful and guilty for not acting as happy for other people as I should. Maybe I'm just a selfish person. 

I don't know why I'm writing about this, other than it is something that has been on my mind lately. 

five on tuesday

On some of the blogs I read, the bloggers do posts like this. I enjoy reading them, so I thought I'd write one myself. I'd like to do it weekly, but we all know my blog tends to get neglected quite often. :-)

1- My Love-Hate Relationship With All Things Cyber

I can totally relate to this, and she makes really good points. I probably spend too much time on the Internet and social media, and that's even with limiting my Facebook time to once a month or so, (for multiple reasons) but I'm addicted to Instagram right now, (because those who know me, know I love photos) and I follow more blogs than I make the time to stay caught up on. And yes, I know it's a little ironic that I'm posting that link on my blog. 

2- Harry Potter Themed Rooms 
I would love to visit London one day, and I would love to stay here for a night or two. I love Harry Potter.

3- Ally Carter's New Book 
I can't wait for this to come out, but I don't want it to be January yet. I loved her Gallagher Girls and Heist Society series, and I can't get this book out of my mind since I read the excerpt on her blog yesterday. 

4- Good Life by Jenny Meyerson
Great blog post on gratitude, but just a warning, it may make you cry. There is always something to be grateful for. And the video that is linked to at the end of the post is really cute. 

5- "If it is important to you, you will find a way. If it's not, you'll find an excuse." 

I saw this the other day, and I have to agree. It bugs me sometimes when people say they don't have time for something (even though I have said that too), whether it be scrapbooking, cleaning, exercising, going somewhere, blogging, reading, or any number of things. Everyone has different priorities, and if something is important enough to you, you will find a way.

Well, that's it for tonight. Hopefully, you like this post, and I will try to be back soon with something else. Thanks for stopping by!