Sunday, January 24, 2016

choices

Choices, even small ones, have consequences that you can't control or anticipate, and sometimes you never even know the consequences of your choice. Am I making sense? I've been thinking about this for the past week or so because of a seemingly insignificant choice I made a week or so ago.

I take the train to and from work each day. Going to work in the mornings, I usually get on and sit close to the second door on the first car, and then my friend gets on a few stops later and knows where to find me so we can chat the rest of the way to work. Well, the other morning, there were a lot of people standing where I usually do by the second door, so I ended up getting on the first door of the train. No big deal, it's happened before, and I didn't think anything of it. I sat down and started to read like usual. I glanced up after a few stops, and I noticed a girl standing and looking my way. My first thought was that maybe she was trying to see what I reading or that she was reading whatever the man sitting across me had on his phone. I went back to my book, and then I heard someone say my name. I looked up again, and I realized the girl who had been staring was my friend Laura who I hadn't seen in 6-7 years. The last thing I knew of her, she had moved to Chicago. She and her husband had moved back here, and she was on her way to a conference for her work. It was fun to chat with her for a few minutes, and hopefully we can get together soon and catch up more.

I got thinking about that later that day, and I realized that had I gotten on the train at my usual spot, chances are Laura wouldn't have noticed me, and we wouldn't have reconnected. It made me wonder what other things I have missed out on by other little decisions, not to mention the big ones. I know I shouldn't dwell on things that I can't change, but I do wonder sometimes. Like what if I had gone away to college instead of staying home where it was cheaper. Or if I had taken a different job. Don't get me wrong - I wouldn't trade the people I've met and are in my life now for anything, but I still wonder. But I guess all I can do trust that I followed the path that felt right and continue to do so and I will end up where I am supposed to.