My birthday is this week. I'm usually so excited and expect everyone to treat it like a national holiday and cater to my every whim. Ok, maybe that's a slight exaggeration.
This year, however, I'm a grump about it. In a way, I would just like everyone to ignore it. I don't want to be reminded that I'm getting older. But then I would probably be upset if that really happened. I was seriously considering taking my birthday off Facebook so people wouldn't remember. But I haven't. Yet. I haven't been on Facebook much lately, and I may not get on it until next week. See? I'm a grump. People have asked me what I want for my birthday, but I really don't know what to tell them because I just don't want to think about it. I did tell Gaston that I want a cake from Baskin-Robbins and that's pretty much it. I was also hoping to set a wedding date by my birthday, but it's not looking like that will happen., which is one reason I'm not looking forward to my birthday. I've just had a hard time acting happy when anyone mentions my birthday.
I know there are a lot of people who struggling with much worse things in their lives. My sis who lost her husband, my friend who lost her grandparents at the hand of her cousin, my 10-year-old former neighbor who was recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and several other people I know who are fighting various forms of that terrible disease, just to name a few. But I can have a little pity party for myself every once in awhile.
But actually, I did start to feel a little better about my birthday the past couple days. I'm meeting a friend for dinner tomorrow night, and I'm going to lunch this week with a couple coworkers. That helped. I'm happy I get to spend time with my friend tomorrow; I haven't see her since around Christmas. I wasn't planning on taking a day off work for my birthday, because I need to be a little careful about how much time off I take this early in the year, but I just might take Friday off. That would make me happier too.
Anyway, if you've made it this far in reading my ramblings, I'm impressed. But don't feel like you have to comment on anything. It's just nice to write out some of the things that have been on my mind. Therapeutic, even.
And if you wish me a happy birthday, I'll try not to be grumpy about it. But no promises. :-)
2 comments:
I'm sorry you are not happy about your birthday!
Despite others huge trials right now, you are still allowed to feel down about your own little trials (that may seem big to you).
Stay strong!
You're looking great for your age, age is really just a number for how many days you have had in your life set aside specifically for you, and Chad will spoil you despite you not really asking for anything. :)
It's okay to have pity parties for yourself every once in awhile. I've had my share lately. I'm sorry it's making you grumpy, though. And I'm sorry you're not setting your date yet, too. Why does life have to be so hard? I know we signed up for it, but still. I hope you can end up having a good day.
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